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Anonymous Mumsy's Journal

8th December, 2001. 9:26 pm. nothing really - a time capsule piece

I've decided that this journal is more like a time capsule as I'm sure nobody ever reads it. For one thing I only write in it about every three months, could even be longer, and nobody I know except Lors would be remotely interested anyway and I'm sure even she has lost interest due to lack of content.
I really don't have anything interesting to say or report, so that's probably why I don't write in it very often. A quarterly report is probably all that's required. So one day someone will probably find it in about ten years time. By then I might have solved the mystery of the sudden disappearance of my baby frogs and all the metamorphosing tadpoles that I once possessed in the pond. I have a suspicion that the big fat female frog might have eaten them. Motorbike frogs are apparently notoriously cannablistic. She's a mean looking thing but being the only female frog that I know of around here, both the males keep trying to attract her attention. Well that's all for now because I'm wasting too much time thinking about what I can say and listening to Bon Jovi instead of writing and I only have ten hours of internet time on my plan, so I'd better go now until I can think of something to talk about. Well, that was really an interesting way to say nothing at all wasn't it. I might try and update on a more regular basis, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Current mood: content.
Current music: Bon Jovi.

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30th August, 2001. 7:32 am. OK forget previous entry.

Well, I haven't updated for some time and I was going to make a saga out of the previous entry except for the fact that I can no longer be bothered. I have been at work just about continuously for the past couple of weeks and I'm afraid office politics have got the better of me. Our company is currently facing a crisis of confidence and trying to get this across to our general manager has not been easy. Many people have tried and failed, so my turn on the list rolled about and it was up to me to try to convince him of the facts. So I have been preoccupied with writing up a four (foolscap) page report of things that are wrong and suggestions for making them right. So that has taken up a fair amount of my "spare" (what's that?) time. Anyway, end result being that on Tuesday I had to go to work at the crack of dawn to attend a "special" meeting to submit my report. I gave a little pre report speech on how I was only being passionate (read angry) about this because "I love the company soooo much, having spent nearly half my life working there" just as a softening up thing before I launched into what can probably only be described as a sort of velvet gloved ATTACK. Anyway, after what was supposed to be a 45 minute meeting had turned into an hour and a half, he also went away with a four page list of notes to think about. I must admit he took it rather better than I expected. I thought initially that I too might be looking for another job. But so far I am still employed there. Results are yet to come in. Embarrassing yourself very quickly must run in the family, as I had given a very stern lecture on how the current practice of only employing people for the phone room who had previous call centre experience was a counterproductive practice and did not dovetail with our company culture..........only to find out that our dear old general manager himself had initiated the practice. Oh well. Like I said - at least I'm still employed (at the moment). I'll update on the findings of the rest when I get them. Next week, I have jury duty all week, which is a major pain in the butt, as I don't have time for this sort of thing at the moment. I hope they don't like the look of me and send my away. Interesting as some people think it may be, I'm really not interested in deciding some poor (maybe) criminals fate. Basically. I don't want to know. Oh well, the price of living in a democracy I suppose, so I had better do my civic duty. That's all for now, - as usual, the story of my life - no time. Catchya later.

Current mood: rushed.
Current music: Have a guess - I need energy..

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8th August, 2001. 7:20 pm. About a week later (give or take a day or two)

This journal entry is going to end up more as an open letter to Lorsi than anything else. I'm in a philosophical mood tonight. This might even take a few days to complete, depending on circumstances. Actually Lor, I have gained an appreciation of computers, the internet and doing one of these public journals. They're not much good for private diary type stuff, BUT they do serve a purpose in getting your feelings out. You should talk John Boy into doing one. I'm sure he would find it helpful. I do. So, see I'm still learning and from you of all people. Anyway, you well deserve the satisfaction of knowing that you were right. I still don't believe that internet relationships will EVER work. The only ones that will are the exceptions to the proverbial rule. There are always exceptions to any rule (I mean, I've even met one good kiwi, which means anything is possible) But the general rule being that these relationships will have a snowballs chance in hell of working.
Well anyway, I was thinking this evening (Neil's out quoting, so I have a chance to think and do this.) about life after being with John today. I know he's very unhappy at the moment and quite depressed. But I do know how hard it is to get out of depression (One bad gene I DIDN't pass on) I'm fortunate, I very rarely suffer from it, and I think these days it has as much chance of getting a hold on me as an internet afffair has of working. I really do believe in my own preaching because it works. Anyway, I am totally committed to positive thinking and having faith in the future and my (apparantly plagurised) personal motto of "never give up and never give in). Just repeating it to yourself all the time sublimminaly makes you feel stronger. But I think initially when you are younger, it's a lot harder to put into practice because you are still learning about life and experiences good and bad are just starting to pile up. I mean, John admittedly does have a harder time than most, but when you look deeply into it, you both have a lot of bad decisions in common, the difference is how you look at it. You just do your blocking trick and dont think about what deep shit you're really in just hoping when you look one day that it might be gone. John, on the other hand sees only too clearly how deep he's buried in it, and worries himself into a deep depression. As I thought, I have to go now, just as it's getting interesting. To be continued................

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30th July, 2001. 7:24 pm. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

I haven't had an entry for a while. I said it was going to be difficult once I went back to work. My computer at work doesn't seem to accept anthing I put into it, so I don't upset it by trying to amy more, and I don't get a lot of time at home either because I will always find something better (read - more constructive) to do.
Especially now that I'm on a "perfect housewife" campaign with myself. I seem to have a lot more energy lately so everything that I see that needs doing I do. Which takes up an awful lot of time when you have a house this size to take care of properly and a garden to nurture as well. Oh dear, at least I know that I must be completely better now because time has speeded up to the speed of light. I love gardening, and in my nano second of spare time, I came up with a brilliant (in theory anyway) idea. But more about that later in another entry sometime. I have discovered that when I feel well and energetic I can be a real slave driver. I am starting to out compete Neil in the workaholic stakes and that's a scary thought. Oh well, enough rambling for one night. Back to work (YES!!!!) If you want to know why my working music is always Johnny O'keefe is because it's really energetic music and you don't mind moving around to it. It's like Dean Martin is cooking music. The italian inspires cooking. Johnny O'Keefe inspires working. I see a pattern beginning to form here, oh well it works.

Current mood: energetic.
Current music: my working music is always "Best of Johnny O'Keefe".

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21st July, 2001. 5:38 pm. Feeeeeelin' good

I don't know why, but I'm feeling exceptionally good today. I think it's probably because I feel good physically for the first time in a long time. I don't care anyway, any reason for feeling good is a good reason. I've turned into a workaholic since I've felt better, even when I'm not at (paid) work, I find enough stuff to do to keep me going from daylight to dark and beyond. But for some strange reason it feels good and gives me more incentive to keep on finding more to do. Not that it's hard to find stuff to do. I have even given up my beloved afternoon sleeps so I have more time to work around the place. I must have had some sort of reverse mental breakdown I think. Oh well. Even had time to put an enrty in here as well. Anyway, not much more to say and nothing interesting, so I'm off to a website in Queensland now to see if I can scam some more mail order tiger grass. Catchya later.

Current mood: cheerful.

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15th July, 2001. 4:24 pm. No time anymore

Well, this is just to have an entry really. As I don't have the luxury of enough time to do this and everyting else I need to do> One weekend is not enough. I had a long talk with John yesterday and I hope I helped him feel a little bit better, Just like lorsi does I too wish I could get inside his head and sort out some of his problems and make his life easier instead of the terribly hard slog it is for him. But I will continue to do what I can for him because as I told him "that's my job". Being a mother sometimes is a very heartbreaking thing but the only way out of that is to not have children, and it's way too late for that, never mind, I have to have faith that things will eventually improve. I totally believe that if you have enough faith things to turn out better. My motto is "never give up and never give in" it usually works sooner or later. My neice Leanne had her car stolen yesterday morning and after a day of trauma and tears, eventually it was found at 1.00am occupied by a couple of people using it as a house. They had parked it in a suburban street and were sleeping in it along with all their worldly goods and chattels. Some people, I don't know.
On a brighter note, a firewood hunt was organised and Neil and Todd went to a friends property and managed to get enough wood to keep me and my sisters supplied for another few weeks, so at least I no longer have the added worry of freezing for a few weeks. Well, as usual I have to go because of the never ending "things to do".
Catchya later.

Current mood: okay.

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11th July, 2001. 2:25 pm. Back to it.

Well, work was actually very good yesterday, but I'm glad I've got today off. Part time is good. I go back tomorrow and Friday. It was good to see everyone again and the mental stimulation was much needed I think. You tend to stagnate at home all the time, unless you can get out and about a lot and have a lot of money. I know that after I've been back to work for my whole week more or less straight that it's going to suck again. So I guess I will have to make the most of it while the novelty is still there (probably the next two days only). Oh well. I've spent all morning scouring the back yard for bits of wood that will fit in the fire as (tragically) we are completely out of firewood until we can scum up some more from somewhere. We have actually got Johns' old picket fence to chop up and feed the fire with, but pickets aren't going to last long with my fires' voracious appetite for wood. One thing I simply cannot do without is my fire in winter. It's amazing how much wood I came up with from scaving around. Shows if you really want something you can usually get it one way or another. So I now have enough wood to keep the fire going for tonight anyhow. Now I have to get Neil away from the truck wreckers and on to sawing up the pickets. The only thing wrong now that I'm feeling better is that time is starting to really speed up again. When I was sick and couldn't do much time really slowed right down, but I would rather be well in the fast lane than sick in the slow mode. speaking of which, I had better not dally too much on the computer, nice as it is. I have a lot of things left to do and the day is slipping past me again and I have no more opportunity until the weekend again now. So better go now.
Seeya.

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9th July, 2001. 5:03 pm. OK

Ok, this is just to have an entry, I had a good day today, went out to the Galleria, what a nightmare that place is. Won't be going back there is a hurry. Did some other stuff and am now back home trying to get some housework done before time runs out on me as I am going back to work tomorrow. Happy days indeed (yeah, right).
Well, have to go now, I have a lot of stuff to do and so little time to do it in. Lors, I couldn't agree more with your little tirade about time etc. So true.

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27th June, 2001. 6:22 pm. Oops. forgot

Well, I completlely missed yesterday, journal wise. A combination of laziness and forgetfulness, by the time I remembered. well, it was all too late, no way I was getting out of a warm bed in the middle of the night to freeze for a few lines in a computer journal. Anyway, yesterday went very well, met the girlfriend, all her publicity is true, she's a loveley girl and I hope it all works out for a long term thing "cause I would love her for a daughter-in-law. She's a bit "Lorsi-esque". So just imagine two colourful theatrical divas in the family. You can never have too many. I really need my healthy life back again, I'm sick, sick, sick of being sick. and how everyone must really love reading about someone who is sick all the time. I think there's a bit of karma happening somewhere in all this because I never had much time for people who were sick all the time. Now I know what it's like. So Karma people, it's ok now, I am suitably humbled, you can let go now, I'll listen patiently to everyones whinges about being sick - I promise. Oh well, as usual not much else to say. One day I'll suprise people by actually having something interesting to report. Ha, anyway wait til I get back to work, I'm sure I'll find plenty to rabbit on about then, because the general public can be such lovable creatures when they put their mind to it. "ok you answer the phone, so everything bad that happens to me must be your fault, which means I have every reason and right in the world to verbally abuse you for half an hour. Can't wait.

Current mood: blah.
Current music: No music. can't be bothered..

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25th June, 2001. 2:16 pm. Well, here I am again.

I actually wasn't going to bother writing in this today as I am too tired to make the effort to think. But as you can see, it didn't stop me. I'm feeling a tad better today, but too tired from too much lack of sleep. I would normally do my favourite thing and have an afternoon sleep but I'm expecting visitors so there's no point trying that. Big day tomorrow, I get to meet my sons' girlfriend, if you know our family history you'll know why that's exciting. Apparently she's "very cool". I'm sure I'll think so too.
I really don't have anything much to say today, I'm here by myself, Homer has gone off to the truck wreckers (his most favourite place in the entire world) where else can you drink someone elses beer and talk trucks all day. I'm getting a bit bored because I can't be bothered doing anything requiring the most miniscule bit of effort, so am doing nothing except this. I should call this the Seinfeld journal because it too is all about nothing. It's amazing how much space nothing can take up if you put your mind to it. Well, I've made a decision, bugger the visitors, I'm going to lay down for a while.
Seeya!!

Current mood: lethargic.
Current music: my $5,000.00 CD.

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